by: John Patrick Dolan, Attorney at Law, CSP, CPAE
To
negotiate effectively, you must be able to communicate
effectively. Unfortunately, most salespeople and
businesspeople don’t realize the importance of solid
communication skills to the negotiation process. As a
result, they lose sales or don’t get the best possible
deal.
However,
as an attorney or leg@l professional, you are not doomed to
the mixed messages and meanings characteristic of poor
communication skills. With a conscious effort, all business
and sales professionals can overcome the communication
barriers that block understanding in negotiation. With a
little extra effort, you can improve the delivery of your
message to your counterparts and work together toward a
mutually beneficial agreement.
Use the
following six rules for effective communication to
connect with others at the negotiating table and in all forms
of communication:
Rule 1: Organize Your
Thoughts
Throughout the negotiation
process, always allow yourself time to organize your
thoughts to avoid conveying the wrong message or confusing
the issues. Before you start the negotiation process, and even
after it starts, take notes and plan what you’re going to
say.
To help you express your thoughts clearly
when the negotiations begin, outline in advance the main
points you want to cover. Planning the gist of what you’re
going to say is the most effective way to avoid sending mixed
messages, but don’t stop with that. As the negotiations
commence, continue to take notes and plan your responses as
you go through the entire process. And remember, no law exists
that says every statement must be met with a response within
five seconds. Take your time. In fact, silence can be one
of your most powerful negotiating tools.
Stop
talking whenever you feel like you need to reorganize yourself
and before you respond to anything that’s said. And make sure
everything you say reflects the true meaning of your thoughts.
This tactic not only helps you organize what you’re going to
say, but it also helps you digest what your counterpart
proposes.
Rule 2: Don’t Think About It; Think
Through It
Thinking about something leads
to confusion, but thinking through something leads to
clarity. The difference between these two processes is a
crucial distinction in communication. Many times, people
approach negotiations with a mindset of, “Tell it like it is,
then let the chips fall where they may.” But by processing an
idea through to its logical conclusion, you can evaluate
the possible responses you may get from the other side.
For example, if you make an offer and say, “Take it or
leave it,” what kind of response would that produce? The other
party may say, “Okay, we’ll take it.” They could say, “Thanks,
but no thanks.” They could say, “We won’t take it, but here’s
what we will accept.” Or they might say, “No one talks to us
that way!” and walk out of the room.
A range of
possibilities exists, and this tactic requires careful reading
of the other person’s reactions. But if you feel from your
experiences with the person that they will either accept your
offer or your counteroffer, it makes sense to speculate and
take the chance. So give some thought to your counterpart’s
possible reactions to your points before you actually make
them.
Rule 3: Recognize that Actions Speak
Louder than Words
Experts say that
seventy-five percent of communication is nonverbal.
This means that the messages negotiators convey have more to
do with their looks, their actions, and the way they say
things, than with the actual words they say.
The best
negotiators practice saying and doing things in ways that send
precisely the message they want to send. The bottom line is
that the better you become at using nonverbal communication
and reading the nonverbal messages others send, the more
effective you can be as a negotiator. Realize that
everything you do at the bargaining table is part of the
communication and negotiation process. So make sure you don’t
send the wrong messages by doing something that conflicts with
what you want to say.
Rule 4: Be Concise
Most people tune out a majority of what they hear, so
you should always be concise and get right to your
point. Say what you mean in as few words as possible,
without being blunt. If you drone on, people will stop
listening to you. To ensure your message reaches your
counterpart, always oversimplify your message, and then
elaborate as they ask questions. Repeat your main point
several times to emphasize what’s most important.
To boost your negotiating power even more, practice
saying everything clearly and concisely, then repeat your
key points to yourself again and again. One main problem with
negotiation communication occurs when your counterpart gets
too wrapped up in what they want to say, that they don’t pay
attention to what you say. This is why it is so important
to organize your thoughts, and say your main points in a
concise, compelling way.
Rule 5: Always Translate Your
Message into Benefits for the Other Party
People always listen more carefully when they believe
some benefit exists in your message for them. In negotiations,
focus on that benefit, even when the underlying purpose
of the message is in your favor.
For example, when you
interview for a new job, you don’t talk about the huge salary
the company can offer you. You talk about all the great skills
you can bring to the company, for their benefit. You try to
convince them that they’ll be ahead of everyone else by hiring
you, regardless of the cost.
As an attorney or leg@l
professional, you should always highlight the value of your
product or service, rather than the cost. Always talk in
terms of what benefits the other party receives as a result of
the negotiation terms.
Rule 6: Listen Carefully to the
Other Party
If you want to reach a mutually
beneficial agreement, you must make sure your message are
heard and understood. But don’t get so caught up in your
own message that you don’t hear and understand what the other
party needs to reach an agreement. Use the following tips for
listening more effectively:
- Open your mind and be receptive to the other
party’s message.
- Make a commitment to listen, and follow through
with this commitment as soon as they start to talk.
- Listen for feelings, as well as facts, and
consider the other party’s concerns.
- Eliminate distractions. Close your door, turn of
the radio, and tune in to the other person.
- Respond to the other party with questions that
stimulate conversation and clarify your understanding of his
or her message.
- Take notes on the important points the other
party makes, and keep these points in mind as you formulate
your responses.
As you improve your listening skills, you increase your
negotiating effectiveness by collecting more information
to use in your search for solutions
Communication is the Key to
Effective Negotiation
Communication is a
two-way street that requires everyone involved to exchange
messages. To negotiate more effectively, you must relate to
the other party with strong communication skills. By using
these six rules for effective communications, you can overcome
barriers, reach a higher level of satisfaction every time you
negotiate, and win more sales in the process.
John Patrick Dolan, Attorney at Law, CSP,
CPAE is a nationally recognized expert in the field of
negotiation and an author of multiple books including
Negotiate like the Pros. He is also a professional speaker and
travels throughout the world presenting lively keynote
speeches and in- depth training programs for business and
legal professionals.
